“This feels right”

More than a year ago, that was the first time when I felt so sure. So sure that this guy was the right one for me.

He felt so different. So different from the way I’d felt about anyone else. As nine months passed, this feeling still stayed, but my emotions were on a different rollercoaster ride. As he progressed deeper into drugs, and I spent more time with a friend that I was interested in, things began to change. And I think that feeling was the only thing that kept us together as long as we were.

In AP Psychology, we talk about hindsight bias and overconfidence, and how unreliable they are. It’s true. We rely too much on our feelings most of the time, and not enough on the obvious facts in front of our eyes.

So I began to be concerned after dating my boyfriend now after three months, that I had no such feeling towards him. There was a strong connection when I first met him, where I could just feel something from him, where I felt that somehow he would become important to me. And so he did. I guess there always was this thing about him that I deeply liked, but no feeling where I was like “Yes, this feels right!”

And I kept asking myself and questioning myself about why there was no feeling.

Maybe I hadn’t recovered yet?

But, last night, talking to him after everyone else had gone home, I felt it. As I laid there looking into his eyes and he was hugging me, it felt right. I finally felt it. That feeling that I had been waiting so long to feel. I feel as if I could spend years with him. There’s just something so right about him, that when I’m with him, my problems or insecurities don’t really seem to matter. Because he tells me I’m beautiful, tells me that I’m different and tells me that I feel “right.”

There’s something about this boy that I just can’t get out of my head.

I’m in love with him.

He’s in love with me.

And it feels right.

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~ by amayescapes on January 31, 2010.